I'm assuming you've seen the recent headlines about the mom who sent the little boy back to the orphanage in Russia; if you haven't you should read this AP clip before you read my comments. (Click on the AP link). If you go to the yahoo or google links you'll find over 10,000 comments have been made on this article.
Having been through the Russian adoption process twice, I feel qualified to respond. First, a few years back I would have been absolutely outraged that a mom could ever do such a horrible thing to a child!
Now, having walked in her shoes, having been lied to by the Russian government, having been overwhelmed by dealing with a disability that I do not understand, was not prepared to handle, and that has taken control of our family decisions, I completely understand "disrupting" an adoption! I get it. I really do.
My criticism of the mother is that there is a process in place in the US and in Russia, for "disrupting" an adoption. The mother disregarded that. And no matter, how frustrated you may be with a child - - there is NO reason to send a 7 year old child overseas unattended!!!
That said against the mother, please remember, there is a bucket list of folks to be blamed for this:
- the mother, she did not follow the disruption process
- the agency, they apparently were not following up with the mother after the adoption
- the Russian gov't , they did not disclose behavior issues to the mother
- the airlines, allowing a 7 year old to fly across the ocean without an adult!
- the social worker, for not intervening and notifying the agency there was a problem.
- the American media for exploiting this without researching facts
The Russian government requires a 6 month, 12 month, 24 month and 36 month post-placement visit be done by the US agency via a local licensed social worker. Where was the agency in all this? Was the agency licensed?
One cannot leave the orphans native birth city without obtaining a visa and a new birth certificate for the orphan (one naming you as the child's legal parent); one cannot leave Russia, with an orphan, without first going to the US Embassy and obtaining a US passport; upon the tires of your plane touching down on American soil, that orphan becomes a US citizen. Papers are carefully, tediously - - for hours! - - reviewed at the Customs Office of the International US airport where you land, before you are allowed to pass through to the baggage claim. And the US requires you to file the birth certificate with the government in a timely fashion upon your return.
A legitimate US adoption agency always follows through and reminds you to do this upon your return.A legitimate agency also follows up to make sure you are adjusting ok, and requires you to see an American pediatrician immediately.
So these AP wires are leaving out tons of important information, and also printing alot of incorrect and misleading information. There is far more to this story that what is being seen.
Here's are some interesting facts about orphans from Russia:
- Russia has over 800,000 orphans right now!
- Of those, about 3,000 per year, are adopted by Americans, and about another 1,000 to other countries outside Russia.
- Russians
do not need to provide a criminal background history in order to adopt;
Americans provide hundreds, almost thousands, of pages of documentation
in order to adopt an orphan.
- Russians are paid up to $10,000 to adopt an orphan, while Americans pay up to $50,000 to adopt an orphan from the same orphanage!
- In 2008, Russians adopted about 5,000 orphans.
- Russians can also take "guardianship" of an orphan and receive from $100-305/per month, and sometimes get the $10,000 as well. Russians took "guardianship" of over 44,000 orphans last year.
- Little known fact: Once they got their payments, Russians returned over 6,000 children in 2009. In 2008 the Russian gov't themselves terminated 3,000 cases within Russia!
- When an orphan is returned, they may go to the orphanage, or they may be turned on the street.
- In the history of foreign (meaning non-Russian citizens) adoptions in Russian, there are only 18 registered cases of death of an orphan. In the HISTORY OF!!!
- Yet according to the Russian Ministry of Health, in 2006 alone, there were 1,220 deaths in adoptive families - - in Russia!!!
I find it very disconcerting that the Russia government is using this mom - who made a horrible choice - as a political outrage against all foreign adoptions. This is a political decoy by the Russian government to deflect responsibility within their own house.
My heart grieves for that little boy! I have no doubt he has/had issues. He was in an orphanage for 6 years! Of course he has issues. My child has issues that we were totally unprepared to deal with. It is only by the grace of God that we have not disrupted or dissolved our adoption. As frustrated and overwhelmed as I may get, I just can't bear the thought of placing my child back in an orphanage or the foster care system. Oh! That makes me weep even now as I blog here.
I'm angry at the mother for not using the proper US channels to give her assistance. There is no excuse for her behavior. Even when she is frustrated or discouraged or afraid: she is the adult. She made the choice to be a parent. She is responsible to be the parent and take appropriate action to see to the welfare of the boy - - even if that means turning him over to her local Child Protective Services.
I'm angry that the Russians are using this to once again shut down foreign adoptions.I'm angry at the American media who are exploiting this story and not getting all the facts straight!
I'm grieving for the American parents who've already taken trip one, who've already held their new child in their arms, who've spent hours and untold amounts of money & time, hoping and praying and waiting for this child to be legally theirs. Oh how my heart is heavy for them!I hope this commentary of mine shed some insight and light on a horrible situation! I would love to hear your feedback!
