Each morning at breakfast I spend a few moments learning Catechism and reading the Bible with my boys. We’ve been going through the book “My 1st Book of Questions and Answers” by Carine MacKenzie. I highly recommend it if you are seeking to give your children a foundation of Truth.
This morning instead of our usual review, we ended up with a life application. A sobering life application that brought me to tears (...and I’ve noticed that anytime momma cries, the boys sober up and listen very astutely). A life application I never, ever imagined I’d be sharing with them; one that grieves me deeply even as I write this.
My extended family is deeply ingrained in Penn State. Not just ingrained - - they are emotionally attached to all things Penn State. My father in law was on the Board of Trustees, my in-laws have held primo season football tickets forever, my husband and his brothers attended PSU, my nieces have and are attending, and my brother in law is currently on the Board. And after more than ten years of all things Penn State, even I, a proud alumni of The Master’s College in California, have a fondness and admiration for Joe Paterno. It’s been an emotional week around our house.
As we sat down to breakfast, Mikhal, who is wise beyond his 6 years, asked why is Joe Pa so sad (his photo is on the front page of our paper - hundreds of miles from Pennsylvania). Thus I sat down at the table with my boys and began this real life story:
Joe Paterno is a very important man. (We know mom.) And Joe heard that his friend, another coach, did something bad and mean to someone else. (What mom?) This coach was mean to other people and he hurt them. Not Joe Pa. He didn’t hurt anyone. But Joe Pa knew that his friend was mean and Joe Pa knew that he should make a right choice to do something hard. (This is when tears started rolling down my cheeks.)
And now this bad man is going to live in jail, and Joe Pa can’t be with his team at anymore games. (What!?! Thats not fair mom! How can we watch a game? Who will play with them? Amazing questions from 6 and 8 year olds.)
I queitly went on to say I know its very sad and it doesn’t seem fair, but when you know to do right and you choose to do wrong it is sin. And sin always has a consequence. I’m very sad that this has happened to Joe Pa. (Still crying.) And I wish so much it wasn’t so. But when you see or hear about a friend doing something mean to another person, you should always do something to stop it. (Full on river flowing down my face, so the boys are very attentive.) Now Joe Pa can’t be with the football team he loves, his family is sad, your cousins are sad, mommy & daddy are sad.
Max pipes up and says mom, “its just like in our catechism.” Which blessed my heart greatly to know they are indeed grasping these truths little by little. It is very much our catechism: Man has a sin nature; God is holy. All have sinned. Love God most of all. Love other people and treat everyone like our neighbor.
If everyone involved in this horrible situation had loved God most of all and treated other people like they wanted to be treated, NONE of this would have happened.
Not speaking to my boys any longer, just commiserating to you: I’m just sick that its all happening: to the victims, to Joe, to the football players, to my dear family who are students. And that things “happened” that are so hideous the only way to describe it to my young children is to say “a man did mean things to another person”.
There are many, many ways to look at this scenario:
As a reader of the news, I’m ill, nauseated, I’m angry, that it was allowed to go on for so many years. How could that man do such things to children!!!
As a friend, how would I feel if someone told me one of my friends was doing something so egregious to others? I’d go ask my friend and if my friend denied it, I’d believe them. And if I had proof, I’d go to the authorities while my heart was breaking. Joe Paterno was between a rock & a hard place with his friend. Did he choose wisely? I can’t answer that. I don’t know what Joe knows in the quiet of his heart.
As a person connected to Penn State, I’m heartbroken that the man who was a father/grandfather figure to thousands is ending his amazing career this way. To quote Joe “This is a tragedy. This is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”
As a mom, I want all of those involved to pay dearly for what they did or allowed to be done to a child. I want revenge and justice. Mostly revenge. I want that offender castrated in public!
As a child of God, I want the offender to be brought to justice and I want to pray for all those involved. I want the one who did it, those who knew and those who should have known to fall on their knees asking for forgiveness in this life and mercy in the life to come. I pray for healing for the victims, that they will find hope in the everlasting arms of a Heavenly Father. For truth to reign. For hope and healing to flow freely in the years ahead on the campuses of Penn State.
The moral of the story to my children this morning was this:
Every action we make has a consequence for good or for evil, that will affect us and the people we love. There is nothing we do that is hidden from the sight of God. Ever.
As the simple song from Sunday School says:
“Oh be careful little mouth what you say, oh be careful little mouth what you say, for the Father up above He is looking down in love so be careful little mouth what you say.
Oh Be careful little ears what you hear....
Oh be careful little hands what you do...
Oh be careful little eyes what you see...”
