Hetherington Happenings

He was just a man

Its old news by now: Joe Paterno left this life 3 days ago.  If I linked this post to every article thats been written about Joe Pa in those 72 hours, you’d spend the next day just reading and never even finish my article. So no links here. Just bing Joe Paterno and you’ll find a list of over 12,200,000 articles…no kidding.

There isn’t much need for me to go into detail about family connections to Penn State, if you follow my writings, you already understand. Joe Paterno was an incredible man: a husband, a father, a coach, a mentor, a friend. He lived his life with integrity, staunch Catholic morales, and passion for football. JoePa was generous, extremely generous toward PSU, yet lived a humble life content with who he was and where he was. Joe was a modern day hero.

I’m not happy with most of the articles I’ve browsed “Joe Paterno’s legacy tainted…career destroyed…died of broken heart.”, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

JoePa made some serious errors which clearly knocked him off many a pedestal.  As I ponder the roller coaster of emotions which have sprung up in me over the past couple of months and days because of Joe Paterno’s actions (or lack thereof), I am reminded of a list of hero’s very similar to Joe Pa. In fact they fill the pages of the Bible: Adam, David, Moses, Abraham, Jonah, Samson, Rahab, Mary Magdalene, Peter, Paul…need I name more.  I find it quite interesting that in penning the pages of scripture the “perfect” person is hard to find…Daniel is about the most utterly faithful & upright I can think of.  Every other hero, at some point in their life, made a big boo boo.

Let’s start with Adam…the biggest error in judgement you’ll ever find. Abraham lied a few times to keep himself out of trouble…just as did Jacob and Isaac.  Sarah, Rebecca & Rachel were sneaky gals. Samson started strong, but miserable choices caused him to fail. Rahab and Mary weren’t in the greatest line of work. David, wow! Talk about a lapse in judgement….David took the prize for this! Peter was brash and denied the only One who really loved him most of all; Paul had to be blindsided before he made good choices.

What’s amazing about all these people...they were real people.  Abraham went down in Gods book as “a Friend of God”.  David was called “a man after Gods own heart.” Peter & Paul paved a road for all Christianity. Rahab was in the lineage of the Messiah! I don’t think God intended for us to allow other humans (including but not limited to Joe Paterno and Tim Tebow) to be the ULTIMATE example of a perfect hero. That’s why God sent Jesus, a perfect Messiah. Other humans should encourage us and challenge us to be better people, but the goal is to be as Christ-like as we can.

Joe Paterno made a big mistake which caused others much harm, there’s no denying hindsight is 20/20, and Joe himself said prior to his death “I wish I would’ve done more.”  I’m not here to argue Joe’s religion or what he could’ve or should’ve been done. There’s no changing that once death crosses our door. What I hope we can learn from Joe Pa, is exactly what we learn from Abraham, David, Peter and Rahab.  Making a mistake does not eliminate one from being a hero, it just keeps them human.  Mistakes can crush our lives for ever, like Samson, or can bring us to the place of repentance and acknowledgment, and mold us into even greater individuals. Personally, in my humble opinion, I think thats what Joe Paterno would want us to remember as his legacy.

Remember, the goal is to keep Jesus in sight.

Gift 12

12. Getting to see this view. Every. Single. Day. God is Awesome.

A Dare to be Joyful

If you're reading this blog post then you can be joyful: you've been blessed with another year of life! So join me in my new years resolution to take at least 1 photo a day.  And not just "a day in the life of"....but a photo that expresses my reason for joy.  I have hope in Christ beyond all human comprehension! I am chosen by God! I am loved unconditionally!

There's a blog I began to follow (there are lots of them) this past year: A Holy Experience. The author of the blog, Ann Voskamp, wrote a book, One Thousand Gifts.  Its about experiencing thankfulness and joy...and finding it in every day life.  So I began a thankful journal last year.

Another one I follow is this hip iPhoneography blog. And she took a photo a day. I wanted to start that too.

So I decided to combine the two and make a photo journal of my thankfulness.

I thought I was so creative with my idea. 

Then I discovered that Ann Voskamp has an iPhone app called 1000 gifts.  So of course I downloaded it and started fresh on January 1.  Thus far, I've taken a photo each day, but haven't always posted the photo because you know how great AT&T "fastest 4G network" is. NOT!

I created a flckr account...joyfullytiredmom so follow me and browse my photos. I'll be posting some of them here too.

If you want to join me, read the book One Thousand Gifts, download the free app 1000 Gifts, or grab a piece of paper and start writing.

I dare you.

Thankful for my other boy

Today's focus is the other blessing God sent us. What a joy it has been to watch Mikhal grow physically and see his personality blossom with each passing day. He certainly fills our life with laughter and fun.

He began full-day kindergarten this year and he is thrilled with each day. He thrives in school!

Mikhal is a social butterfly and quite the little ladies man already. It's cute at 6; hope I feel the same at 16. Here's his cowboy  birthday party:

He cheers on Penn State with daddy on Saturday mornings

He's got an amazing imagination and is quite creative in all he does

And some lofty goals for life... watch out Bono!

He's so creative and arts are his passion

He's emotional, expressive and the life of the party when he's in his comfort zone

He is very patient, compassionate and caring toward his brother when it matters most. He's had to be mature beyond his years to understand his brothers disabilities and I appreciate his sensitive spirit.

I'm so thankful I get to be his mother.

 

 

Thankful for my boys

This boy has brought so much joy into our lives. Everyday I am learning something from him...grace, hope, laughter...and patience.

Mornings start with Max and his dog...

Helping me in the kitchen...and this is the best part of course!

Max loves his Legos and they can be found EVERYWHERE in our house!

So proud of himself for riding alone at equine therapy

He lives life with zest...doing his own thing, not caring about what others think.

He lives for bugs...look at all these snails he collected at Aunt Jeri's house

Outside of Lego's and bugs, he LOVEs to take things apart.  This is  was a slide projector.

You'll always find him with something in his mouth...I'm trying to make it bubble gum and not fingers.

I love, love, love this photo of him watching Disneyland make it snow on Main Street as the fireworks show ended.  It captures him perfectly: joy, hope, happiness!

Can't wait for Christmas morning to see the excitement on his face once again.

Real life lessons

Each morning at breakfast I spend a few moments learning Catechism and reading the Bible with my boys. We’ve been going through the book “My 1st Book of Questions and Answers” by Carine MacKenzie. I highly recommend it if you are seeking to give your children a foundation of Truth.

This morning instead of our usual review, we ended up with a life application. A sobering life application that brought me to tears (...and I’ve noticed that anytime momma cries, the boys sober up and listen very astutely).  A life application I never, ever imagined I’d be sharing with them; one that grieves me deeply even as I write this.

My extended family is deeply ingrained in Penn State. Not just ingrained - - they are emotionally attached to all things Penn State. My father in law was on the Board of Trustees, my in-laws have held primo season football tickets forever, my husband and his brothers attended PSU, my nieces have and are attending, and my brother in law is currently on the Board.  And after more than ten years of all things Penn State, even I, a proud alumni of The Master’s College in California, have a fondness and admiration for Joe Paterno. It’s been an emotional week around our house. 

As we sat down to breakfast, Mikhal, who is wise beyond his 6 years, asked why is Joe Pa so sad (his photo is on the front page of our paper - hundreds of miles from Pennsylvania). Thus I sat down at the table with my boys and began this real life story: 

Joe Paterno is a very important man. (We know mom.) And Joe heard that his friend, another coach, did something bad and mean to someone else. (What mom?)  This coach was mean to other people and he hurt them.  Not Joe Pa. He didn’t hurt anyone.  But Joe Pa knew that his friend was mean and Joe Pa knew that he should make a right choice to do something hard. (This is when tears started rolling down my cheeks.)

And now this bad man is going to live in jail, and Joe Pa can’t be with his team at anymore games. (What!?! Thats not fair mom! How can we watch a game? Who will play with them?  Amazing questions from 6 and 8 year olds.)

I queitly went on to say I know its very sad and it doesn’t seem fair, but when you know to do right and you choose to do wrong it is sin. And sin always has a consequence. I’m very sad that this has happened to Joe Pa. (Still crying.) And I wish so much it wasn’t so. But when you see or hear about a friend doing something mean to another person, you should always do something to stop it.  (Full on river flowing down my face, so the boys are very attentive.) Now Joe Pa can’t be with the football team he loves, his family is sad, your cousins are sad, mommy & daddy are sad.

Max pipes up and says mom, “its just like in our catechism.”  Which blessed my heart greatly to know they are indeed grasping these truths little by little.  It is very much our catechism:  Man has a sin nature; God is holy. All have sinned. Love God most of all.  Love other people and treat everyone like our neighbor.

If everyone involved in this horrible situation had loved God most of all and treated other people like they wanted to be treated, NONE of this would have happened. 

Not speaking to my boys any longer, just commiserating to you: I’m just sick that its all happening: to the victims, to Joe, to the football players, to my dear family who are students.  And that things “happened” that are so hideous the only way to describe it to my young children is to say “a man did mean things to another person”.

There are many, many ways to look at this scenario:

As a reader of the news, I’m ill, nauseated, I’m angry, that it was allowed to go on for so many years. How could that man do such things to children!!!

As a friend, how would I feel if someone told me one of my friends was doing something so egregious to others? I’d go ask my friend and if my friend denied it, I’d believe them. And if I had proof, I’d go to the authorities while my heart was breaking.  Joe Paterno was between a rock & a hard place with his friend. Did he choose wisely? I can’t answer that.  I don’t know what Joe knows in the quiet of his heart.

As a person connected to Penn State, I’m heartbroken that the man who was a father/grandfather figure to thousands is ending his amazing career this way. To quote Joe “This is a tragedy. This is one of the great sorrows of my life. With the benefit of hindsight, I wish I had done more.”

As a mom, I want all of those involved to pay dearly for what they did or allowed to be done to a child. I want revenge and justice. Mostly revenge. I want that offender castrated in public!

As a child of God, I want the offender to be brought to justice and I want to pray for all those involved. I want the one who did it, those who knew and those who should have known to fall on their knees asking for forgiveness in this life and mercy in the life to come. I pray for healing for the victims, that they will find hope in the everlasting arms of a Heavenly Father. For truth to reign. For hope and healing to flow freely in the years ahead on the campuses of Penn State.

The moral of the story to my children this morning was this: 

Every action we make has a consequence for good or for evil, that will affect us and the people we love.  There is nothing we do that is hidden from the sight of God. Ever.

As the simple song from Sunday School says:
“Oh be careful little mouth what you say, oh be careful little mouth what you say, for the Father up above He is looking down in love so be careful little mouth what you say.
Oh Be careful little ears what you hear....
Oh be careful little hands what you do...
Oh be careful little eyes what you see...”

Once Upon A Family

Once upon a time there was a princess who loved to write. She loved to have a cup of tea, a quiet room filled with Laura Ashley furniture and scents of jasmine, a book in one hand, a Bible near by and a journal with blank pages. She would spend peaceful hours alone pondering, writing and reading, growing deeper in her faith and at peace with all around her. 

Then one day prince charming came and swept her away with tales of hopeful tomorrows, candlelit evenings, sunny days, blue oceans and starry skies in a castle made of love. And the princess was still full of joy, reading, writing and growing deeper in her faith.

One morning she awoke and found the Gardner had entrusted two tiny seeds to her care. She was overjoyed as she set aside her pondering and writing to begin caring for these seeds. And the princess who had never had seeds of her own, was full of gratitude and joy.

The seeds began to sprout, and as they did she found they needed more sunlight, more nourishment, more cultivating. So she set aside her reading and joyfully watered as the sprouts were now alive and full of life. And the princess was flying like the wind, always busy, always moving.

Soon it was spring and the new growth took on a life of its own and these sprouts were real boys bursting with energy, with wonder, with emotion, and the princess was full of joy, yet oh too tired to read or ponder.

The little boys began to grow and the princess realized they were actually the souls of men incased in these young bodies waiting for nuturing so they could break free of these boyish shells and become men of character. Still it was the summer of their lives, and these young boys were in need of wisdom, guidance, faith, hope and emotion, so the princess set aside her writing and her reading, and she was very tired.

One cold autmn morning as the golden leaves were carried to the ground by the chill of a frosty wind,  the princess realized how exhausted she was as there was more to do than she could handle. So she set aside her tools and she found a quiet place and she went alone. And with a cup of tea, a quiet room, a journal in one hand and a Bible on her lap, she sat down as a long slow exhale escaped her lungs and she gave her seeds, her boys, back to the One who gave them to her. And she pondered the many, many blessings her prince charming had brought into her life, the castle she lived in, the laughter that surrounded her, she realized that unless she went away for moments of quiet, of reading, and of writing, she could not be the caretaker these boys needed.

So as the princess awakens to a new day, soft white snow sparkles on the branches of green surrounding her castle, she rises with joy, still tired, but alive with the hope and knowledge of the One who gives her strength for each day. She gazes out her windows pondering the greatness of a Heavenly Father who blesses each morning with lovingkindness and kisses each night with peace. She reaches for her pen in the quietness of the sunrise and begins to write.

FASD and What YOU can do

This is near and dear to my heart and I'd love to have you join! AND please invite a friend or two or 50...

Ready for some startling facts gathered by Jodee Kulp:

Alcohol is devastating, and most devastating to the weakest and most vulnerable in our society -- the unborn child. Alcohol exposure is the leading known cause of mental retardation in the western world - US, Canada, Europe and Australia.

In the United States 10,657 babies are born daily (1999 US numbers are listed below)

• . . . 3 will have Muscular Dystrophy
• . . . 4 will have Cystic Fibrosis
• . . . 4 will have Spina Bifida
• . . . 4 will be infected with HIV
• . . . 10 of these babies will have Downs Syndrome.

Researcher and fund-raisers are working for these children.

But -- are you ready for the figures --

• . . . 20 babies will be born with FAS
• . . . these children will have visible facial and other physical deformities
• . . . they are the lucky ones

People will see with the eyes, understand and help will be provided. These physical manifestations are not caused by MORE drinking but simply because of the day in gestation the pregnant mother chose to drink.

NOW -- are you really ready for the tough issue

• . . . 100 babies will be born with Fetal Alcohol Effects
• . . . these children's deformities will be hidden within their bodies, in their brains and organs.
• Most will go undiagnosed.
• Most will live a life with little help with behaviors misjudged and struggling with learning and emotional issues.

 

 

More VIP and Summer Fun Photos

60. Sixty. 6-0. View them here:  60 adventures we've had this summer.

I was trying to make it to 100, and I have 2 1/2 weeks to go before school starts. Hmmmm....think I can make it? 

And here's a list we are hoping to add YOUR name to: our VIP guests.

There's always room for more family and friends in our home!

For the love of reading

I can't begin to express to you how overjoyed I am that my boys like love to read. Not that neither is proficient in reading on their own, but either child can often be found sitting by one of our many bookcases, surrounded by a pile of scattered books. 

My dilema is that the "pile of scattered books" drives me nuts! I want the books to be standing straight and tall like a library; the boys toss them on the floor and sometimes they manage to get them on the shelfs....upside down, backwards, sideways.  So to find some middle ground I found this great idea on another blog, Raising Olives, for creating personal books shelves.  This amazing lady (whom I do not know, but just like her blog) posted step-by-step instructions and photos on her blog if you want to do it yourself.

The shelves weren't too difficult and I had intended to do them all by myself. But my dearest hubby like projects. Alot. And he is a perfectionist, of the best kind. So I gave in and let him take over because I knew he'd do it much faster than me, and he'd get it right the first time.

Mikhal, I actually caught reading, and this was just too good of a pose for me not to take a photo! He was very excited to pick out his favorite books from the other cases and place them here on his own personal shelf.

Max is excited that he can now read a book without getting out of bed. And yes, of course he is whistling and is reading Star Wars at the same time.

Summer Adventures #46

The fun continues as I post another photo to our summer adventure album.  See the link and/or the sidebar album to view them all.  We're up to #46 with three weeks of summer to go.

And that was July...

So there goes July 2011.  I have 247 photos to prove that it exsisted and that we filled it as full as we possibly could. And I have two boys sleeping past 10 am so they can catch up some much needed rest.

August sends me into a panic. "August" screams summer is over! And school is coming! Snow is just around the corner.  Stop! Please, stop!  I just need to enjoy the sunshine and warmth while we have it.

We did enjoy it on a gorgeous July weekend. We crossed off another adventure in our guide book. This one took our family to Canyon Creek Meadows on Three Fingered Jack.

Which now includes a dog...

Oh, yeah, thats a cast you see on his arm...fractured wrist (but that's another post) and it isn't slowing him down. He still marches to his own beat...

It was an amazing hike, starting at the area most affected by the B&B fire in 2003, where new growth is now sprouting up...

Taking us past small patches of snow

And into lush shaded forests

Finding beautiful wildflowers in bloom:

We hiked to the meadow

We intended to go further, but we met snow at the otherside of the meadow and altho we hiked another 1/2 mile on slushy, slippery snow, we decided that was far enough without boots.

Still, it was a fantastic afternoon!

And we found another hiker to take a family photo for us.

#35, I Scream for Ice Cream

Are you tracking with our Summer Fun album on my sidebar of this blog?

Don't miss out. We're up to #35!

A Boy and His Dog

It's been just 10 days since we added Ginger, the Retriever, to our family, but its very clear that she is already Max's best friend.  Yesterday we had her spayed, and I'm not sure which was harder: the surgery for Ginger or the day of separation for Max.

As soon as she arrived home last night, drugged and down from the vet, Max was near to give her comfort.

Ginger had no appetite and was clearly very sleepy, so Max positioned himself near her and grabbed a book.  Appropriately entitled "Jake and the Brave Night", it's a story about being brave and unafraid of being alone at night.

I'm proud of Max for being so compassionate to his friend, and for the huge progress that this shows for his reading skills. We've worked long and hard, through many hours of therapy and many tears of frustration, for him to accomplish this simple task of reading. I am thrilled beyond words that he had the desire to read to Ginger, but even more proud that he had the ABILITY to read to her all by himself.

We love the things that Summer brings

Our Summer Fun list is growing...having you been following my photo album? We're up to #29 so far. There's more ahead!

Here's a few of the things that Summer brings...

S'mores!

 

evenings around the firepit.....Max does not want to share his dog

Lots of smiles and giggles

Ice Cream and Berry Cobbler

Friendship

Chillaxin time!

Sparkler fun

day hikes

 

 

What did Summer bring you?

 

California Dreamin on a Summer Day

Another reflecting post on our start-of-summer California trip... in-between days at Legoland we had the fun of connecting with people we love.

At Jakes Del Mar (love you Jackie & David Allaire!!) we had so much fun with our server Danielle Allaire while meeting my high school girlfriend, Trisha Garcia and Mike for dinner.  If you are ever in San Diego and want an incredible dinner of fresh seafood or steak AND you want a seat as close to the ocean as possible, you MUST head to Jakes.  If you look past the glass refraction glare in this photo, you'll see an amazing view of waves and sand, and if you make your reservation at the right time, you'll see a sunset that only California can paint for you. Spectacular!

I look forward to times like these with friends, food and the ocean! And I'm so thankful for the friendship with Trisha I've been able to keep for over 25 years.

We met Aunt Jeri at Dana Point Harbor for lunch. More fresh seafood! 

And more time on the beach for the boys.

Max is happiest when he is rolling in, digging in, covered with sand. It is the greatest sensory therapy EVER that we've found for him.  I guess we may have to move to the beach some day. Bummer.

We met up with my sweet college friend, Michelle Krugh, and two of her precious kiddos. She is an amazing mom!

A fun afternoon at Doheny Beach. Too bad my kids don't tan well.

Then we headed down the coast to San Clemente pier for more fresh seafood and an incredible sunset. Our kids had a blast together!

It was a perfect way to end the day.

Legoland Adventure

Looking back a few weeks, and catching up, we kicked off our summer with a week in San Diego, California. So much fun that I'm going to make a couple posts. I'll start with Legoland...

We spent a couple days at Legoland and here's my review.  We went on a Thursday and were surrounded with 8-12 year old kids without supervision climbing all over the lines, loudly using inappropriate language and no "Disney police" to keep order; long, long, long,  long waits for 30 second rides; and rides clearly intended for kids under 6.  I was expecting Disneyland with Lego's and I was sorely let down. We had done the $10 second-day upgrade to come back Saturday and I wasn't looking forward to it.

However, I will say that the Mini-Land they created was spectacular...San Fransico, Paris, NYC, New Orleans, Las Vegas...and Star Wars all 6 episodes.

Saturday the sun was shining and the boys were so excited for Star Wars Days at Legoland.

So was everyone else in San Diego county who wasn't at the County Fair. It was far more crowded with people, but it was families, not kids on the loose, so the atmosphere was completely different.

And the park must have been more prepared because the lines moved faster (30 minute waits as opposed to 60 minute waits) on the same rides.

The Star Wars characters were everywhere.

Everywhere!

I'm fairly certain I took photos of the boys with Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker, Queen Amidala, Storm Troopers, R2D2, Darth Maul, Jedi's, Sandpeople, Jawa's, Sand Troopers, Snow Troopers, Tie Fighter Troopers, and a few others I can't spell.

There was a scavenger hunt, a droid hunt and giveaways. The boys were in Lego Star Wars heaven. It was a great day! We left happy and exhausted.

We had debated about buying season passes and thankfully we did not, although our second day experience was much more positive than our first exposure, I won't be going back. Legoland is clearly intended for young children. I could see taking boys up until the age of 9, maybe 10, but a girl past the age of 7, would find no interest in this place. And teenagers, forget it! There is no reason at all to bring your tween or teen to Legoland.  So take your kids while they are young and you will have a great adventure.

Happy July 4th!

From our house to yours, Happy Birthday America!

 

#20, Love at First Sight

We are now officially citizens of Bend.... we joined the ranks of dog owners. My boys think this is THE. GREATEST. DAY. OF. SUMMER. EVER!!!!

Meet Ginger...named so by Max.

 

Summer Fun 2011

You may have noticed I rearranged a few things on the blog. Someday I hope I find time to learn how to make it exactly like I want it to look, but for now Summer is calling and there is too much fun to be had.

So on that note, I created a new photo album, which you'll see on the right side-bar of my blog. It's titled "Summer Fun 2011".  I'll be updating it on a daily basis with a photo and brief description of our latest adventure.

Follow along, and tell me about your adventures too!